Perky & Friends

The place for random penguin musings and the home of the Linkin Park Penguin

Being a Penguin is the Best

on September 14, 2012

My lady human wrote (well doctored) a song to tease me about Pebbles (the pillow turned out to be a lady penguin that I’m still coming to terms with) and cos she felt guilty about hogging the laptop recently.  But as you’ll see from reading it she really has no idea what I do on twitter when I do have it! – I mean the danger of pork pies? – PORK PIES? – Silly human….Not to mention the fact that I actually do have my own cayks, as well as the fresh fish.  (Guessing she hasn’t realised that I steal them from her, so I will let her keep thinking it’s only fish I eat on a regular basis).  But I’ll share the song with you anyway as it is quite clever.  You might recognise it, but if not you should check it out so it makes more sense.

PERKY (BEING A PENGUIN IS THE BEST)

You could hear his flippers pound as he raced across the ground,

And the clatter of his wings as they made a clapping sound.

He galloped into Antarctica street, his Linkin Park badge upon his chest,

His name was Perky, and he thought being a penguin was the best.

 

Now Perky loved a pillow, a penguin known as Pebbles,

She lived all alone in Lady’s Office because she was a rebel.

They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic,

But Perky got his cayks from her three times every week.

 

They called him Perky, (Perkyeeeeeeeee)

And he thought being a penguin was the best.

 

She said she’d like to bathe in fish, he said, “All right, sweetheart,”

And when he’d finished work one night he loaded up his cart.

He said, “D’you want them fresh? ‘Cause fresh is always best,”

She said, “Perky, I’ll be happy if they come up to my chest.”

 

That tickled old Perky, (Perkyeeeeeeeeee)

And he thought being a penguin was the best.

 

Now Perky had a rival, an evil-looking bear,

Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington and he had plenty of cayks to share.

He tempted Pebbles with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread,

And when she seen the size of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head.

 

She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, “If you treat me right,

You’ll have hot rolls every morning and crumpets every night.”

He knew once she sampled his layer cake he’d have his wicked way,

And all Perky had to offer was some fresh fish every day.

 

Poor Perky, (Perkyeeeeeeeeeee)

But he still thought being a penguin was the best.

 

One lunch time Ted saw Perky’s pals outside Pebbles’ door,

It drove him mad to find they were still there at half past four.

And as he lept down from his van he knew that he’d be great

So he went across to Perky’s pals and didn’t half kick his monkey mate

 

Whose name was Dave, (Daveeeeeee)

Who thought being a talking monkey was the best.

 

Now Perky rushed out into the street, his bow tie under his wing,

He said, “If you wanna marry Pebbles you’ll fight for her under the swing”

“Oh why don’t we play cards for her?” he sneeringly replied,

“And just to make it interesting we’ll have a shilling on the side.”

 

Now Perky dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun,

They stood there face to face, and Ted went for his bun.

But Perky was too quick, and Ted let out a roar

As a mozzarella-stuffed trout sent it spinning from his paw.

 

Now Pebbles ran between them and tried to keep them apart,

And Perky, he pushed her aside and a rock cayk caught him underneath his heart.

And he looked up in pained surprise as the concrete hardened crust,

Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Perky bit the dust.

 

Poor Perky, (Perkyeeeeeeeeee)

And he’s always thought being a penguin was the best.

 

Perky was a cuddly toy, he didn’t wanna die,

But now he’s gone to twitter heaven to warn people about the dangers of pork pies.

Where everyone likes Linkin Park and leopard seals are banned,

And the penguin’s life is full of fun in Perky’s online land.

 

But a woman’s needs are many fold and Pebbles she married Ted,

But strange things happened on their wedding night as they lay on the human’s bed.

Was that the trees a-rustling? Or Dave the monkey nattering away?

Or was it Perky the penguin who couldn’t just stay away?

 

They’ll never forget Perky, (Perkyeeeeeeeeee)

Perky penguin is the best.

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2 responses to “Being a Penguin is the Best

  1. Tiddy says:

    Poor Perky! Mrs C remembers that song and said your version was funnier. Tiddy x

  2. Perky says:

    Thank you! That is quite a compliment 😀

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